


Too Cool

by Just_here_for_a_laugh



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Admiring from Afar, Don't smoke kids, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, M/M, MWPP, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Remus Lupin is a sweater boy, Remus Lupin-centric, Requited Unrequited Love, Secret Crush, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Sirius Black's leather jacket, Smoking, Soft Remus Lupin, Underage Smoking, Unrequited Love, You Decide, Young Remus Lupin, Young Sirius Black, its very bad for you, set really any time after fourth year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:54:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24286210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_here_for_a_laugh/pseuds/Just_here_for_a_laugh
Summary: Remus is in love with Sirius, but why would somebody as cool as Sirius go for someone like him?
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 93





	Too Cool

“Rise and shine Moony!”

  
Remus grunted as James jumped on top of him, smile just as big and bright as the sunlight streaming in through the window. Remus pulled the pillow over his eyes to block out them both. “I’m a very dangerous animal, you know,” he mumbled. James laughed.

  
“Yeah, but you’re a right wimpy human.” Remus groaned and chuckled back at him before pushing him off and sitting up. From the looks of it the others were nearly ready. James was already in his robes and Peter was almost there as well. He sighed and moved to push the covers off of himself as he heard a voice call out to him.

  
“Mornin’ Moons,” Sirius chirped as he walked past. He started to respond but the words died on his tongue as he looked up to see Sirius wearing nothing but a towel slung low around his waist. After a few lingering seconds Remus darted his gaze away and tried to right his breathing. He really did not need to be having thoughts like that this early in the morning, or at all really he told himself. Sirius was his best mate, one of the people he trusted most in the world. And what’s more he was completely out of Remus’ league. Not only was Sirius gorgeous he was the single coolest person Remus had ever met, he could barely believe they were friends, much less had the potential to be something else. He didn’t have a chance.

  
The same voice that started him down the distracting line of thought pulled him out of it. “Remus?” Sirius asked playfully, “I said good morning.”

  
“Morning!” Remus said hastily, making Sirius grin.

  
“You okay mate?” he asked with a bit of laughter in his voice as he leaned against his own bed across the room.

  
“Yeah,” came the reply, “just lost in thought. Uh, how are you?” Remus cringed slightly to himself but Sirius just laughed fondly.

  
“I’m alright, good as I can be when we’ve got a Potions test in a couple hours.”

  
“It’ll be fine,” James said, hopping onto Sirius’ bed this time.

  
“For you and Moony maybe,” laughed Peter. Sirius raised an arm to acknowledge him and looked back at James.

  
“Exactly!” he said, “Poor Pete and I don’t stand a chance.” He grinned and started getting dressed. “You two are gonna go off and have fine grades and brilliant careers and Wormtail and I are going to flunk out of Hogwarts altogether and end up a stray and a street rat roughing it across the country, just us against the world.”

  
“I’d watch that movie,” Remus quipped with a sly smile. Peter laughed and Sirius sighed dramatically while Remus just shook his head and got ready. He could tell it was going to be a long day.

  


  


The Potions test had gone as well as James had said it would, no real surprise there Remus thought to himself, but he still had the rest of his classes to get through. He walked into History of Magic and sat down in his seat towards the back of the classroom. Sirius wasn’t far behind him, coming in and waving as he sat down near the front, the two no longer allowed to sit near one another after the year’s third mid-lecture prank. The class started and Remus settled into a wandering train of thought, being sure to tune in every so often and answer a few questions as to not rouse any suspicions. He watched Sirius run his quill over his cheek absentmindedly and chuckled to himself. He thought about how much Sirius loved the feeling of soft things, like blankets or Lily’s favorite stuffed bunny that she kept on her bed, and smiled. He felt almost warm and a little excited, like he usually did when his thoughts drifted to the other boy, and for a moment he just existed and revelled in the feeling. However, he quickly remembered who exactly it was he was thinking about and sighed. He had to stop doing this, he told himself. Sirius was on a completely different playing field than he was. Even the way he walked was different. Remus felt like he was always in a rush to get somewhere, arms full of books and loose papers, a little bit lost and a little bit frazzled. Sirius on the other hand moved with a grace he had never seen in anyone else before; he was suave and confident as he went. Remus couldn’t decide if it was a saunter or a swagger, but whatever it was he didn’t have it.

  
And then there was a complete opposite nature about him too. Sirius was the smoothest person Remus had ever known, and yet he was somehow also one of the wildest. Everything he did was brash and rebellious. He laughed harder and screamed louder and burned brighter than anyone else around him. Remus didn’t know how to describe it but it was like he was...more than everyone else, just more, like he couldn’t be contained. He was bursting through himself all the time for everyone to see. It was incredible, and Remus knew he could never match it.

  
Disheartened by his own thoughts, Remus brought his attention back to the lecture going on around him. Answering a question about the founders of the Ministry of Magic and writing down a line or two from the board, he sighed and once again glanced over at Sirius. His friend was turned around looking out the window behind Remus, and made a face at him when he caught his eye. Remus giggled and returned the favor before Sirius quickly turned around again before they could be caught. Remus rested his head on his hand and slowly slipped back into his distant headspace, trying and failing not to think of the black haired Black in front of him.

  


  


That night as Remus tried to fall asleep he once again found himself unable to think about anything but Sirius Black. After classes had ended the four Marauders had gone to the quidditch field and he and Peter had watched James and Sirius practice. Sirius had scored again and again, and being the dramatic show off that he was had done a number of impressive stunts midair to rub it in and get a laugh out of James. There had been cheers from nearly everybody present. He was amazing and everyone could see it. Why wouldn’t they? Then later when they had come back to the Gryffindor common room Sirius had managed to get into a conversation about some upcoming banquette and teach some poor, nervous muggleborn second-year perfect formal manners for a dinner and a ball. He knew exactly what to do and how to act and Remus knew none of it. He was more cultured and refined than Remus could ever hope to be, and then to leave it all behind? To stand up to his parents and leave everything he’d ever known? To be that brave? Remus couldn’t imagine what that was like, the courage that that took, the strength. He had never met anyone like Sirius, someone who could survive what he had and still be as kind and vibrant and incredible as he was.

  
He laid in the dark and thought about everything that Sirius was that he would never be. It was a miracle he had him in his life at all, and he was so grateful that he did. He wouldn’t trade his relationship with Sirius for anything in the world; even if it wasn’t exactly what he wanted it was more than enough. He smiled to himself, a little sadly but mostly genuinely, and finally started to fall asleep.

  


  


The next day was Saturday so the four of them forwent their robes and were lying on the grass outside in their regular clothing. Peter was telling a story about something that had happened in Divinations last week and James and Sirius were listening in earnest, but Remus was admittedly more focused on Sirius than on Peter. The young Black was stretched out on the grass, lounging carefree with his long black hair gently rippling down his shoulders and shining like silk. And that leather jacket, Remus almost couldn’t think. He always wore it when he didn’t have to be in his robes and every time it made him look like a vision. Rebellious, dashing, and so much cooler than it had any right to be. Remus looked at it wrapped tight around him and moving with him as he laughed, a sound as beautiful as Sirius himself.

  
Still laughing, Sirius rolled over to look at him and Remus couldn’t help but smile back at him. It was instinct. Sighing, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He lit one and laid back, closing his eyes and feeling the sun on his face as he listened to his friends laugh and tell stories. He smiled. There were things he wanted, things he wished he could be and wished he could have, but even if he was never going to stand a chance with Sirius, even if this was as much as life was willing to offer him, as he lay on the grass surrounded by his friends he thought it was still pretty perfect.

  


  


Sirius propped himself up on his elbow as he laid in the grass on the hill with his three best friends. It was finally Saturday, Peter was telling them about this absolutely mental prophecy in his Divinations class that had gotten everybody going nuts, and he was formulating the beginnings of a prank in his mind. It was a perfect day. He grinned as the plan started to form in his head and he knew he’d have to tell Moony about it. Moony was the best at plans; he was the best at a lot of things he thought. Sure all of his plans were brilliant but it wasn’t just that, Remus thought faster than anyone Sirius had ever met. Yesterday in class while Sirius had been struggling to keep the facts of the Ministry’s founding straight in his head, Remus had been answering questions effortlessly, even bringing up historical comparisons to point out similar trends! Like it was nothing! And he just knew Remus had aced that Potions test. Even outside of academics Remus had the sharpest wit and quickest sarcasm of any of them. Sirius was awed by it just about every day. But even as sharp tongued as he could be it was never mean. Remus was the kindest person Sirius had ever known, compassionate and thoughtful, and even after all he’d been through. Gosh he was strong, Sirius thought. To survive what he did, and to keep surviving it every month and still be as kind and warm and incredible as he was, Sirius didn’t know how he did it.

  
Drawing himself out of his thoughts he gave his full attention back to Peter just in time to hear the part of the story where a Ravenclaw girl who had misread her leaves ran out utterly convinced there was a plague of frogs coming, and he and James both howled laughing. He rolled over to look at Moony who was strangely quiet and he got a smile in return. He grinned ever wider and watched his friend. Remus lit up a cigarette and leaned back, and Sirius swore he looked like a painting. His eyes closed and smoke gently blowing out from those beautiful soft lips Sirius thought about far too often, the young wizard couldn’t help but stare. As Remus lay on his back letting the scent of tobacco and clove surround him there was a confidence there that Sirius knew he’d never have himself. The sun shone on Remus’ dusted freckles and scattered scars, and Sirius watched the slow rise and fall of his chest, warm in the sunlight and sweater. It was mesmerizing. Sirius sighed almost silently to himself. He’d been in love with the other boy for ages but he knew he didn’t stand a chance. Remus was the coolest person Sirius had ever met, why would he ever look at him that way? He knew all kinds of things like the intricacies and nuances of wartime trade and how to bake a cake without magic. His section of the room was full of muggle records and he was always humming one of the songs to himself or even on rare occasions actually singing. Everything he did was brilliant and seemed to come to him so naturally. He didn’t even have to put undue effort into how he looked; he just woke up gorgeous. Between his honey brown eyes and his beautiful warm smile Sirius didn’t think he’d even seen anything he liked more. His air of ease and nonchalance even extended to his hair; whereas Sirius spent ages on his own every morning Moony simply ran his fingers through his and it was done. It amazed him and he’d told Remus multiple times, though he’d left out that he dreamt of running his own hands through the soft golden brown locks too.

  
He watched as the gorgeous hair he so wanted to touch shone in the sunlight, and he couldn’t help but smile to himself. When Remus opened his eyes and turned his head to the side to look at him, his smile got even wider, and when Remus smiled back at him with that warm and perfect smile, Sirius felt like his heart was going to burst. Sirius might not have Remus’ hair running between his fingers or his chest rising and falling under his head, but he had his smile and his humming and his friendship. Remus was here with him, and that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! DO NOT SMOKE, it is incredibly bad for you, and clove cigarettes especially burn your throat. I only put them in to show that Remus is stressed and bad at coping, they are a BAD thing. Sirius thinks they look cool only because he's an idiot and wizards don't have surgeon general warnings. Stay tobacco free. I do not own Harry Potter or anything associated with it. Happy reading!


End file.
